Derp Derp
by XxPorcelainKnightXx
Summary: John is being a fucktard and implying Karkat loves him, but the troll finally get's annoyed with John enough to admit it- slightly. From an Omegle rp I had ONESHOT


**A/N: **so, I was on omegle and had this great conversation, however, my convo partner cutout, so... Bro, if you manage to read this, lemme know! XDD

* * *

EB:

Hi! :B

**CG:** SUP FUCKASS- WAIT..

**EB:** oh,

**EB:** it's uh...

**EB:** yyyyyyyyooooooooouuuuuuu...

**CG:** YES ITS FUCKING ME

**CG:** BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

**EB:** J-John...

**EB:** jeaze, your mean, Karkat!

**CG:** GOG DAMNIT I KNEW IT

**EB:** yeah, well,

**EB:** your easy to guess who it is.

**EB:** meanie...

**EB:** asswipe...

**EB:** jerk...

**CG:** OH DONT GET ME STARTED ON NAME CALLING EGDERP

**CG:** AND THIS?

**CG:** THIS IS MY FUCKING HAPPY FACE

**EB:** funny how it resembles your miserable face- and your depressed face- and your ugly face- oh wait, that's natural...

**CG:** ARRGGHH YOU INSUFFERABLE..

**EB:** and your angry face,

**CG:** SHUT UP JOHN HUMAN

**EB:** and your- oh wait, that's all the emotion you've got!

**EB:** :B

**EB:** :P

**CG:** GOG DAMNIT YOU PISS ME OFF

**CG:** WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE

**EB:** i could ask you the same thing!

**EB:** humans normally screw around on things like this!

**EB:** what about you?

**CG:** I WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM ALL MY FUCKING PROBLEMS

**EB:** oh, this must suck, then.

**CG:** BUT SO FAR THAT PLAN HAS PROVEN TO BE UTTER SHIT

**CG:** YES

**CG:** IT SUCKS

**EB:** I'm so sorry.

**EB:** can you read my sarcasim karkat?

**EB:** can you?

**EB:** or did you think I was seriously sorry for you?

**CG:** AGH

**CG:** FUCK YOU

**EB:** haha! you did didn't you!

**CG:** YOU BULGEBITING NOOKSUCKER FUCK YOU

**EB:** hn?

**EB:** karkat you know I don't understand troll analogy, so this means nothing but jibberish to me.

**EB:** aside from the universal "fuck you"

**CG:** OH TRUST ME

**CG:** IT FITS YOU PERFECTLY

**CG:** YOURE A FUCKING NOOKSTAIN

**CG:** EMBRACE IT JOHN HUMAN

**EB:** hey karkat, can i ask you a serious question- and no, i'm not going to prank you or post the answer on a fourm or spacebook or something.

**CG:** WHAT? WHEN THE-

**EB:** can i or not?

**CG:** AGGH FINE. FUCK IT. WHAT

**EB:** why are you always so upset? and why are you even more mad when your around me? you started trolling me, so...

**EB:** plus, you kept doing it.

**EB:** so if you don't like me so much,

**EB:** and if I'm suck a "cookstain" or whatever,

**EB:** why do you keep it up?

**CG:** FIRST OF ALL

**CG:** ITS NOT COOKSTAIN

**CG:** ITS NOOKSTAIN YOU FUCKTARD

**CG:** AND ITS BECUASE I HATE YOU

**EB:** but why?

**CG:** I JUST FUCKING DO!

**EB:** ...

**EB:** that's not a real answer, karkat.

**EB:** that's on of those bs answers.

**EB:** you know that don't you?

**EB:** either your lying to me or yourself, which is it?

**CG:** FUCK YOUR LETTER ANSWERS

**CG:** ...WHAT?

**EB:** bs = bull shit

**CG:** IM NOT FUCKING LYING

**EB:** then give me a reason!

**EB:** even if you think it's dumb!

**EB:** as long as it's not "because"!

**CG:** I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FUCKING BIT OF ME THAT CAN FUCKING HATE

**EB:** wwwwwwwhhhhhhhyyyyyyy though?

**CG:** BECUASE YOUR SUCH A FUCKING DERP

**EB:** ...because you think i'm dumb? well don't you think all humans are dumb?

**EB:** what am i a special case in your book?

**EB:** do i like,

**EB:** have my own section or something?

**CG:** OHH NO YOUR WAY BEYOND HAVING YOURE OWN SECTION

**CG:** YOURE THE FUCKING SUN

**CG:** IN A FUCKING UNIVERSE

**EB:** aw! in your dark little world?

**CG:** FILLED WITH DERP

**EB:** how sweet karkat!

**CG:** ...WHAT?

**CG:** NO

**CG:** FUCK

**EB:** i didn't know you felt that way!

**CG:** S-SHUTT YOUR FUCKING FACE HOLE

**EB:** derp, derp!

**EB:** ehe!

**CG:** UGH. WHY AM I EVEN...

**EB:** that's what i want to know.

**EB:** you call me dumb among other names,

**EB:** yet keep talking to me.

**EB:** how come?

**EB:** why do you keep up the conversation karkat?

**CG:** I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL IM GOING TO TELL YOU GOG DAMNIT

**CG:** IM NOT

**CG:** YOU ARE

**EB:** but you can leave anytime, yet you don't.

**EB:** and i am what?

**CG:** YOURE .. YOURE A FUCKING.. SHIT!

**EB:** karkat, that's not nice.

**EB:** be nice.

**EB:** i think,

**CG:** FUCK THAT

**EB:** your terrified of being nice to me.

**EB:** yup.

**EB:** that's it.

**EB:** your scared.

**EB:** terrified.

**EB:** horrified.

**CG:** WHAT? THATS FUCKTARDED

**EB:** this is so going on spacebook, i lied.

**CG:** CEASE YOUR FUCKTARDARY-WHAT? FUCK NO!

**EB:** karkat totally loves me. it's obvious.

**EB:** inevitable.

**CG:** NO ITS NOT

**EB:** i'm just too fucking cool~!

**EB:** ;B

**CG:** UGGH YOURE FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY

**EB:** oh...

**EB:** i'm sorry.

**EB:** i understand how deep your love is for me.

**EB:** i really do.

**EB:** well, not really but,

**CG:** WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!

**EB:** you know.

**EB:** ehe!

**EB:** so it's true, then?

**CG:** ...WAIT

**CG:** WHAT?

**CG:** FUCK NO

**EB:** you know i can copy and paste this to my advantage, right?

**CG:** NONONOONONONONO

**EB:** best prank eva~!

**CG:** UGH AND YOU WONDER WHY I FUCKING HATE YOU

**EB:** "karkat, a troll, is comming out of the closet for a derp derp"!

**CG:** .. WHAT CLOSET YOU DERP. I WASNT IN ONE

**EB:** that shall be the title of the story of our romatic rondevous!

**EB:** oh, yes, karkat.

**CG:** THE FUCK. THERE IS NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT THIS

**EB:** i can see it now!

**EB:** ehe!

**EB:** relax!

**EB:** seriously!

**EB:** you have to think about,

**EB:** how bad that would look on me, too!

**EB:** people already say shit to me like you do.

**CG:** FUCK YOU. YOUR FUCKING WITH VASCULAR PUMP AND YOU WANT M TO RELAX?

**EB:** that's would be the straw that breaks the camels back or whatever they say- and yes.

**EB:** yes i do.

**EB:** !

**CG:** ARGH YOUR A FUCKING.. YOUR WORSE THAN.. GOG DAMNIT I CANT EVEN COMPARE YOU TO ANYTHING

**EB:** ehe. see?

**EB:** you so love me.

**EB:** ahahaha!

**CG:** SHUT UP

**EB:** kidding, kidding!

**EB:** jeze!

**EB:** take a chill pill or whatever it is you trolls have.

**CG:** NO FUCK THAT.

**CG:** THIS MAY BE A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU BUT IT ISNT FUNNY

**EB:** fucking what now?

**EB:** because you love me, karkat?

**EB:** hahaha!

**EB:** oh you so do.

**EB:** don't deny it any longer!

**CG:** GOG DAMNIT NO I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANY KISMESIS HAS EVER HATED THIER PARTNER

**CG:** EVER

**EB:** kisneiss?

**EB:** oh,

**EB:** that thing with the love hate relationship thing?

**EB:** so...

**EB:** you do love me.

**EB:** you just said so.

**CG:** UGH... I GIVE UP

**EB:** derp, derp. i love you too, karkat.

**EB:** now,

**EB:** take a chill pill.

**CG:** WE DONT HAVE FUCKIN CHI- WAIT WHAT?

**EB:** ahaha!

**EB:** you said were kissbleughs or whatever, right?

**EB:** so i've got to love you sometime right?

**EB:** cuz i sure as hell know i love screwing with you!

**CG:** KISMESIS YOU FUCKTARD..

**EB:** that's what i said. kissbleughs.

**CG:** NO NOT 'KISSBLUHGS'

**CG:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

**EB:** same difference

**EB:** think of it

**EB:** as a spelling error

**CG:** BIG DIFFERENCE!

**EB:** eh.

**EB:** whatever.

**CG:** THERES NO WAY YOU COULD EVEN- OH FUCK WHY DO I BOTHER

**EB:** still, you avioiding the fact,

**EB:** that you said you loved me.

**EB:** dear kissbleugh.

**CG:** I..DID NOT

**EB:** yeah you did. if you didn't, why not just say the troll equivelent of mortal enemies or something?

**EB:** you didn't.

**CG:** UH..

**EB:** so you hate that you love me~

**CG:** OKAY FINE

**EB:** do you wanna kis- wait, what?

**EB:** seriously?

**EB:** you remotely like me?

**EB:** holy shit.

**EB:** never thought i'd see the day.

**CG:** DONT ACT ALL FUCKING SURPRISED

**EB:** oh wait- i must be dead-

**EB:** or

**EB:** you must be pranking me.

**EB:** good one, karkat!

**EB:** nice job.

**CG:** TROLL ROMANCES ARE WAY MORE COMPLICATED THAN HUMANS U IDIOT..

**EB:** hn?

**EB:** wait-

**EB:** your like...

**EB:** seriously serious?

**EB:** like for reals?

**EB:** no derps?

**CG:** DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DERPER TO YOU?

**EB:** well- nevermind that, but,

**EB:** your like...

**EB:** for real?

**EB:** o-okay then...

**EB:** in what way do you like me...?

**EB:** just curious here and all.

**EB:** derp derp needs education and all that.

**CG:** WHY DONT YOU ASK THAT FUCKING DAVE HUMAN

**EB:** hn?

**EB:** why are you bringing up dave?

**CG:** HE SEEMS TO KNOW ALOT MORE ABOUT FUCKING QUADRENTS THEN HE SHOULD

**CG:** THANKS TO FUCKING TEREZI

**EB:** hhhhhaaaaaahhhh?

**EB:** well,

**EB:** that wasn't what i was asking...

**EB:** besides...

**EB:** i was asking you karkat...

**EB:** not dave...

**EB:** you.

**CG:** UGH.. WELL UH..

**CG:** ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN

**CG:** BUT USUALLY.. KISMESIS FIGHT AND OTHER.. FUCKING THINGS

**EB:** fucking things?

**CG:** OR SOMETHING- FUCK WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME TELL YOU

**EB:** like, sex fucking things, or like,

**EB:** random shit fucking things?

**EB:** because i asked you because you brought it up!

**EB:** duh!

**CG:** WELL..

**CG:** FUCK

**CG:** ALL OF THAT I GUESS

**EB:** wait- both?

**EB:** that sounds like it would hurt... considering you don't like the person your doing that with...

**CG:** UGH WHAT DID I JUST SAY

**EB:** i don't know, you confused me!

**CG:** TROLL ROMANCE IS MORE COMPLICAED THAT FUCKING HUMAN ROMANCE

**EB:** i'm a derp, remember!

**EB:** well,

**CG:** DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE.

**EB:** make it simple!**  
****-**carcinoGeneticist stopped trolling ectoBiologist-


End file.
